Are You Focused on the Content or Context of Your Life?

Are You Focused on the Content or Context of Your Life?

 

Do you focus more on the Content or Context of your life?

During my early twenties, I focused primarily on Content: The money I wanted to earn, the cities I wanted to travel to, the type of work I wanted to be doing, the lovers and friends I wanted to have…

And this turned out to be not too bad of a strategy:

  • Focusing on the type of work I wanted to do led me to write and publish a bestselling book (The Art of Success);
  • Focusing on the amount of money I wanted to earn gave me the courage to step out of the corporate world and into the world of entrepreneurship;
  • And focusing on the adventures I wanted to have kept me in wonderment of this truly magnificent world that we inhabit.

But, truth be told, I didn’t feel amazing in my day to day life. And if you’ve ever been to some of the poorer parts of the world, like rural towns in Asia, India, or South America, you would have seen what I saw when I visited Vietnam in December 2015: Families and children in absolute poverty… but with brighter smiles than almost everybody I see walking the streets of Sydney, New York, Toronto — name your city. And certainly brighter smiles than almost every high-powered, high-paid executive I ever worked with.

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

How can these people be so happy with so little? …

Yet another year passed before I really came to terms with the fact that the Content in my life wasn’t leading me to a deep, sustainable happiness, which is when I began shifting my focus from Content to Context: How did I want to feel, regardless of what I had or what I was doing or what was happening in life? And as you might guess, I started feeling better, a lot better in fact! But my productivity and action took a turn for the worse…

This bothered me because for all of my life up until that point I had always been very disciplined and this had served me well in terms of achieving what I wanted to achieve. Now here I was, a heck of a lot happier, but operating at about 25% of the capacity I was used to operating at!

Looking back on that experience, I now understand what was happening: I was simply focusing most of my time and energy on learning a new skill — a skill that nobody had ever even mentioned to me during my many years at School and University.

What was that skill?

It was the skill of being aware of my “state” (i.e. how I was feeling) and how to shift my state whenever I wanted to, without suppressing my emotions. (Quick note: Never suppress your emotions — this will lead only to much greater problems down the line).

This is something I’m still working on, but I have reached a point where I’m able to feel good pretty much most of the time… and the kicker is that now I’m able to focus on the Content I want in my life (i.e. all the things I want to do and have and experience) while maintaining an elevated state of feeling good regardless of what is happening.

So what’s the moral of this story ?

Focus on both the Content and the Context in your life.

  • The Content gives you an orientation — a direction you want to head in so that you can have and do the things you want to have and do.
  • The Context allows you to manage how you feel, regardless of where you are at on your journey.

If you’ve been too focused on either one of these — like I was until recently — all I can say is that from my experience it is so worth the time and effort to learn about the other side of the spectrum. You’ll be a more complete Human Being for it.

Until next time.

Your friend,
James Melouney

What Is The Dip and Why Should You Care?

What Is The Dip and Why Should You Care?

What if I told you that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better in your life?

The Dip is what I call that period of time where things get worse before they get better.

Take, for example, learning how to snowboard. For 1-3 days, you’re in The Dip. You’re on your bum 90% of the time. Your backside is wet and cold and in constant pain. Your wrists feel like they may not hold up the next time you fall over. There’s snow all down your jacket and in your gloves… You feel completely out of control and that you might possibly be the worst snowboarder to have ever lived…

But then… around day 4… you begin climbing out of The Dip. You start falling less. You feel more in control. You’re linking up turns. And for the first time in 4 days, you start to enjoy snowboarding!

That’s when the people who never tried or gave up too soon look at you and say, “Wow, I wish I could do that,” not recognizing The Dip that you went through to get to where you are.

This is a critical part of life to understand…

Sometimes, if we want to move forward in our life, things may have to get worse before they get better… We may have to take a step backward — or sideways — before we take two steps forward.

Let me give you an example which is closer to home… because this is exactly what happened to me in my life…

When I left my job back in June 2016, I went from earning a stable 6-figure income to earning nothing.

Fortunately, I had some savings from the past few years that I could use while I was trying to transition my life.

But even with those savings, from July through to October I had to eat some humble pie and do some low pay side jobs to get a little cash flow while I was trying to get my online business up and running.

Then in November I made my first sale online — I made $120.

In December, that increased to $1,140.

January was pretty similar with $1,580 in sales.

In February, sales almost doubled to $3,080.

And then in March, they shot up to $16,855 — far more than what I used to earn in my 6-figure stable income job.

The Dip for me was from July to March. A period of uncertainty, doubt, confusion, worry, stress… but also a period of excitement for the new life of financial independence and freedom I was creating.

Now I’m in a fortunate position to scale my business to income levels which I would have only been able to attain with another 15+ years climbing up the corporate ladder…

But I had to take a step backward before I went forward. And that’s just the reality of life sometimes.

I’m more than happy to answer any of your questions if you’re looking to start an online business and create more wealth, security, and freedom in your life.

Just shoot me an email at: James@JamesMelouney.com

Until next time.

Your friend,
James Melouney

5 Steps to Freedom and Conscious Creation

5 Steps to Freedom and Conscious Creation

Kétség is the Hungarian word for “Despair.” It means two-ness. Despair (Des-pair; Two-ness) arises when you are not in unity with your higher self.

I assert that there’s a part of you that knows what you truly want, who you truly want to become, and the quickest way for you to get there. And every time you feel despair, this is perfect feedback that you’re acting out of alignment with your higher self and have veered off the quickest path to where you want to go.

There’s nothing right or wrong, good or bad about feeling despair — it is what it is. However, there are disempowering and empowering ways to deal with it. And today I want to share with you an empowering model for dealing with any of your emotions.

I came across this incredibly powerful 5 step process in Marci Lock’s materials. Marci — alongside Tony Robbins — is the only other coach I know who charges one million dollars per year to her top tier clients. (She has over five of them.) If you’re serious about improving your life, it’s advice worth taking.

Five Steps to Freedom & Conscious Creation (Dialogue with self)

Step 0: Breathe

As soon as you feel your body tense up or your stomach tighten, stop and breathe.

Step 1: Notice what you are feeling

Conscious languaging to use: Point to yourself and say “I notice I’m feeling _____”

E.g. I notice I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Step 2: Understand why you are feeling that way

Conscious languaging to use: “This came up for me because ______”

E.g. This came up for me because I’m running behind schedule and I’ve got so many things to do today and nothing is going to plan right now.

Step 3: Express what you truly want

Conscious languaging to use: “What I really want is _____”

E.g. What I really want is to do the very best I can and to be in a state of fun, ease, play and joy.

Step 4: Identify “the truth” or a new belief/perception/thought that empowers you to get what you truly want

Conscious languaging to use: “The truth of the matter is ____ ”

E.g. The truth of the matter is that overwhelm isn’t going to help me do the very best I can or to be in a state of fun, ease, play and joy… Fully accepting exactly where I am and becoming fully present is going to help me get what I want.

Step 5: Align your state/vibration and identify what you now get to do to get what you truly want

Conscious languaging to use: “I now get to ______ ”

Note: Before you take any action, shift your state to fun and ease and joy and excitement. (Take 5 minutes and go for a walk, meditate, listen to music, etc. if you need to.)

E.g. (feeling joy, ease, fun and play): “I now get to fully accept where I am and to be fully present, focusing only on the next inch, then the next inch and the next inch until I’ve made the mile. And I get to do this in a state of fun, ease, play and joy.”

During this process, listen to your body. Red flags are heaviness and “negative” emotions. Positive signs are joyful tingles all over and a feeling of lightness.

A commitment that will change your life faster than anything else:

If you want dramatic transformation in as short a time as possible, make the commitment that from today onwards, every time you feel out of alignment with your higher self (that means every time you aren’t feeling joy or excitement or pleasure or happiness or ease), immediately go through all five steps of the above process so you can return to alignment.

And if you’d like to see how this process of conscious creation plays out in a two-way dialogue just reply to this email and let me know.

Until next time.

Your friend,
James Melouney

You Can Achieve Your Dreams

You Can Achieve Your Dreams

Running faster on a hamster wheel won’t get you off of it.

Stop too suddenly and you’ll hurt yourself.

This is the dilemma many people face in life: They find themselves locked into something that’s not what they’re truly seeking. They want change, but just can’t see how it’s possible. They’re in too deep.

The solution?

Start slowing down… gently.

While you’re slowing down, search within and figure out what you truly want to do — what energizes you? what fulfills you? what lights you up?

Perhaps this is the first time in your life you’ve ever thought about these questions in depth…

(Hint: Think on paper.)

Your dream life begins with clarity on what you love doing and who you love being. The next step is figuring out how to monetize that. Finally, you start doing what you love.. You deliver it to the world.

Being financially rewarded for doing what you love… Can you imagine?

I don’t care what excuse you tell me… it IS possible for you.

How do I know this?

Because people have done it with no more than pennies to their name…

People have done it with major physical ailments…

People have done it with all the odds stacked against them…

Of course, the life you truly desire won’t be tossed into your lap. That doesn’t mean creating it can’t be easy.

All it means is that you will need to CHANGE.

Change the way you think.

Change the way you act.

Change the way you feel.

Change your habits and routines and perspective and reactions.

Most people prefer to hear advice that they LIKE over advice that can truly TRANSFORM them.

Let’s not beat around the bush: Transformation means your current identity must die. You must become somebody different.

Despite how that sounds, transformation is actually quite pleasant when you begin to see the results. The thing is, few people are willing to go through the process and experience that themselves…

And it’s no coincidence that few people live truly exceptional lives.

Are you brave enough to be real with yourself?Then ask yourself: Am I really doing everything I could to achieve what I say I want?

  • What books are you reading?
  • What podcasts are you listening to?
  • Which mentors are you following?
  • What changes have you made to your morning routine?
  • What changes have you made to your evening routine?
  • What bad habits are you replacing?
  • What good habits are you instilling?

The life you dream of CAN be yours.

No matter what circumstances you are facing, don’t ever give up hope.

Because you are not alone and you can do this.

Until next time.

Your friend,
James Melouney

What Is Leadership?

What Is Leadership?

​​​Leadership is not what you think it is.

It’s not a position.

It’s not a title.

It’s not standing on stage in front of thousands of people.

It’s not knowledge.

Leadership is your ability to know who you truly are so you can break down all the barriers and pursue a life that you want and won’t stop until you get the result.

That’s leadership.

And there’s no destination.

Leadership, it’s not glorified. It’s not.

Everyone thinks leadership is like Usain Bolt standing on the podium after his triple-triple.

That’s not leadership.

Leadership: Behind closed doors. Nobody’s looking but you. Nobody cares but you. Nobody has big enough reasons but your own. You have to overcome your demons, overcome your fear, and know that you’re good enough.

What would it take for you to believe that you are good enough in the space of uncertainty?

When you realize that every stumble, every fall, is what leads you to your greatness, you realize there is nothing bad in life.

Every challenge, every obstacle, every mistake, every pain is FOR you… so that you can BECOME the leader you want to be and live the life you want to live.

When you realize this, there are no victims… there are no villains.

Appreciate it all. Be grateful for it all.

Ego wants to justify. Ego wants to categorise. Ego wants to put things in their place.

Are you able to move from control to trust?

Are you able to move from fear to love?

What got you HERE won’t get you THERE. As cliché as it sounds.

In business, no matter how brilliant your mind is, control will only get you so far…

You won’t get what you truly want until you begin to TRUST the world around you… When you see that the world SUPPORTS you instead of TAKING from you… And when you start to ask the right questions…

“What do I have to do differently to get the result I want?”

“What is this challenge trying to teach me?”

“In this moment: How can I use this as an opportunity to grow?”

Your ability to seek perspective is your biggest asset in life.

Do you get that?

Those people you admire… they’re no different to you. They aren’t. They’re just people who chose to do the work on the INSIDE.

You deserve everything you want.

But do you believe it?

You are more than good enough.

But do you feel it?

Your fear doesn’t matter.

But will you let it?

Will you do the work on the inside?

Gather enough perspective to know that you have to continuously enlighten your perspective so you can take the right action to get the results you want.

Then… welcome to leadership.

Until next time.

Your friend,
James Melouney

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